Wide awake and dreaming

Here I am again on my blog. My neglected, boring, full of nothing blog. But why is that? If I'm writing, I'm doing something so it can't be boring or full of nothing. I shall treat it like cheap therapy. I don't care if it's interesting or not. It's good for me.

I have found out about so many different things lately or maybe I'm finally taking an interest in other things other than ME. Thinking about what's going on in my life all day long....whether I'm sleeping, eating, working or driving....what a waste of time! Just recently I have been paying attention to what people talk about...I'm not interrupting them because I think that if I don't say what I need to say at that moment, they won't listen. It's not true. The lightbulb went off and let me know that people will listen if YOU listen to them. They are not the people who raised you who didn't listen! These are not the people who meant well and did the best they can....I love my parents no matter what. God, it took forever to figure that out. But I am loving every minute of every little nugget I discover....I have opened myself up and that...is healing.

It's as if I have an open Google account in my soul now.

The guy tailgating me who's on the phone may not be an asshole. He may have a wife in the hospital about to give birth. IF he is an asshole, why would I feed on that and let it bug me for 6 seconds?

The lady who doesn't say "excuse me" or looks at me like I am a loser isn't necessarily impolite or a bitch. She might have something else on her mind. I might remind her of her best friend from college....whatever it is...it's not about ME.

I have opened up to the little things in everyday life. For example: Sleep is overrated. I slept too much yesterday and I am going to bed late tonight. Big deal. I'll sleep when I am tired. I won't blame my lack of sleep or too much sleep on anything that doesn't happen "a certain way" tomorrow. Like I have any control over it anyway. Ah, there's the rub: control. I can only control my actions. That's it.

I know it's annoying when I ramble. That's why I choose to do it here.

I love to write. I just fucking love it.

Thanks for reading. Good night!