I am just heartbroken tonight. I'm finding it hard to go to sleep and it's because of what will happen with my godson tomorrow morning. He will stand before the powers that be and try his very best to be strong and accept the decision.
It doesn't even matter if he did anything wrong or not.
It doesn't matter what the truth is....any lies are disregarded at this point.
I'm praying that someone or something will come forward to change the probable outcome of this little boy's life for the next four years.
I love you, J.
Your mom and dad and sister love you and we will all stand by you.
Be strong, little Hercules.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
It's been awhile....
Hi everyone,
Yeah, I've been gone awhile but not really....sometimes I am gone from you but never away...so much has happened.
Where do I start?
Still recovering from the surgery and getting better every day. I'm still numb in many places and dealing with the psycholgical aspect of having five pounds removed from my body. There has been no headaches, neck aches, or back aches. But I still struggle with pain and trying to figure out how far I can go physically.
I am starting a new job next weekend.
I decided a few days ago that I needed to find a job and bang! the phone rings....it's my friend, the Mayor of Fist City....she asks if I'm looking for a job. I say yes and I got an interview and was hired hours later. I've been doing some voice over work for Audix Microphones and I'm also working on a video with a spoken word group, The Hydropods....check them out on YouTube...."Such Lofty Encounters." I'll be "starring" in their next video....more later about that project.
I didn't want to go back to bartending but I have no right being picky at a time like this....when so many people are losing their jobs every single day. I am sick to my stomach when I hear about so many jobs being cut and companies closing down left and right. It's scary.
So I start my new job next Saturday morning at the Stagecoach Saloon....it is an actual stagecoach stop from back in the day....the original wood floors are still there!
I'm working day shifts and I couldn't be more lucky...I'm off before Thor gets home from school.
I love you, bitches.
As Jeff Lynne would say...."Hold on tight to your dreams...."
Yeah, I've been gone awhile but not really....sometimes I am gone from you but never away...so much has happened.
Where do I start?
Still recovering from the surgery and getting better every day. I'm still numb in many places and dealing with the psycholgical aspect of having five pounds removed from my body. There has been no headaches, neck aches, or back aches. But I still struggle with pain and trying to figure out how far I can go physically.
I am starting a new job next weekend.
I decided a few days ago that I needed to find a job and bang! the phone rings....it's my friend, the Mayor of Fist City....she asks if I'm looking for a job. I say yes and I got an interview and was hired hours later. I've been doing some voice over work for Audix Microphones and I'm also working on a video with a spoken word group, The Hydropods....check them out on YouTube...."Such Lofty Encounters." I'll be "starring" in their next video....more later about that project.
I didn't want to go back to bartending but I have no right being picky at a time like this....when so many people are losing their jobs every single day. I am sick to my stomach when I hear about so many jobs being cut and companies closing down left and right. It's scary.
So I start my new job next Saturday morning at the Stagecoach Saloon....it is an actual stagecoach stop from back in the day....the original wood floors are still there!
I'm working day shifts and I couldn't be more lucky...I'm off before Thor gets home from school.
I love you, bitches.
As Jeff Lynne would say...."Hold on tight to your dreams...."
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Monday, December 22, 2008
Bitch, it's cold out
If you've been watching the news, you know by now that I live in a Top Ten Most Snowiest city. Sweet! I haven't seen anything like this since the late '70's!
I've been taking lots of notes....inspired by the Murf, of course...for future posts. I've got pictures to share and little stories...like the next door neighbor who has shoveled massive amounts of snow onto my front yard to make way for his car. Um, it's okay, I guess. Maybe a little hey-is-it-cool-if-I-do-this would have been nice. I would have said yes! I'm just trying to figure out what is wrong with his front yard...oh well.
Note to self:
Do not open any windows. The snow is between the screen and the glass. It will all fall onto the carpet inside the bedroom. Now that was a bitch to clean up!
I've been taking lots of notes....inspired by the Murf, of course...for future posts. I've got pictures to share and little stories...like the next door neighbor who has shoveled massive amounts of snow onto my front yard to make way for his car. Um, it's okay, I guess. Maybe a little hey-is-it-cool-if-I-do-this would have been nice. I would have said yes! I'm just trying to figure out what is wrong with his front yard...oh well.
Note to self:
Do not open any windows. The snow is between the screen and the glass. It will all fall onto the carpet inside the bedroom. Now that was a bitch to clean up!
Monday, December 8, 2008
Discoveries during recovery
I have a torso!
I have got to get a full grip on the fact that I cannot do a lot of things right now. I had a bit of wound separation last night and it was enough to make me not care about refilling the pepper mill. The peppercorns are up above the stove. And I don't have to get the spatula to turn off the switch on the light over the stove. Big deal if it's on. Big deal if it's off.
The house will not fall apart.
I can't let the pain get away from me.
I have the greatest friends....far and wide....you know who you are...ahem, Murf and the Queen of Tehachapi....Kim!!! I miss you, girl.
I will get a job. Be grateful for the extension of my unemployment benefits.....thank you, Congress.
It could be worse.
There will be no formal Christmas tree this year and that's okay. The house looks beautiful with the white lights here and there. Well, there is a tabletop tree.
I will take as long as it takes to get totally healthy.
I can wait to get back to the gym.
I have got to get a full grip on the fact that I cannot do a lot of things right now. I had a bit of wound separation last night and it was enough to make me not care about refilling the pepper mill. The peppercorns are up above the stove. And I don't have to get the spatula to turn off the switch on the light over the stove. Big deal if it's on. Big deal if it's off.
The house will not fall apart.
I can't let the pain get away from me.
I have the greatest friends....far and wide....you know who you are...ahem, Murf and the Queen of Tehachapi....Kim!!! I miss you, girl.
I will get a job. Be grateful for the extension of my unemployment benefits.....thank you, Congress.
It could be worse.
There will be no formal Christmas tree this year and that's okay. The house looks beautiful with the white lights here and there. Well, there is a tabletop tree.
I will take as long as it takes to get totally healthy.
I can wait to get back to the gym.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
P.O.D.
Post operative depression.
Yesterday was not fun. I woke up in a good mood and about an hour later I started doubting my decision to have the procedure. I made phonecalls to friends and nurses and lions and tigers, oh my! No one was home.
OMG, they're gone, they're gone!!!
I'm not supposed to look like this! Okay, the logical side of me KNOWS it takes weeks for the swelling to go down. The intelligent side of me KNEW what to expect.
I miss my lover. We're having to sleep in separate beds because I have to be on my back for a month and there is no room for elbows...especially the ones that might nail my new girls in the middle of the night. Needless to say, I'm sleeping like shit....which adds to the depression. And I can't even hug my sweetheart....or anyone for that matter. And I am a hugger, people!
I didn't even know there was such a thing as P.O.D. until I went online to find another girl like me.
There was this life-saving website dedicated to BR girls like me. I printed out their list of how to handle this phase of the post op. I was aghast at how many items on the list applied to me. I mean, do these people live in my head?
Good news is....today is a better day and my little boy wants waffles with fresh strawberries. And I'm going to make them because the pain is better today.
Yesterday was not fun. I woke up in a good mood and about an hour later I started doubting my decision to have the procedure. I made phonecalls to friends and nurses and lions and tigers, oh my! No one was home.
OMG, they're gone, they're gone!!!
I'm not supposed to look like this! Okay, the logical side of me KNOWS it takes weeks for the swelling to go down. The intelligent side of me KNEW what to expect.
I miss my lover. We're having to sleep in separate beds because I have to be on my back for a month and there is no room for elbows...especially the ones that might nail my new girls in the middle of the night. Needless to say, I'm sleeping like shit....which adds to the depression. And I can't even hug my sweetheart....or anyone for that matter. And I am a hugger, people!
I didn't even know there was such a thing as P.O.D. until I went online to find another girl like me.
There was this life-saving website dedicated to BR girls like me. I printed out their list of how to handle this phase of the post op. I was aghast at how many items on the list applied to me. I mean, do these people live in my head?
Good news is....today is a better day and my little boy wants waffles with fresh strawberries. And I'm going to make them because the pain is better today.
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